William the Bloody

right then

Thu, 27 May 2004 13:57:57 GMT

Guess the court case turned out all right and whatnot. At this hotel that peaches used to run his old offices out of, apparently. God, what a bloody awful week this's been. Not sure where my place is anymore, y'know, now that 'twould appear the proverbial nasty hordes of evil are slightly at bay. Ought to check on my flat, see if it's still in one piece. Ought to... oh, bugger if I know what I ought to do anymore. S'pose it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world to stick 'round LA, 'least for a while.

Seems that Cordelia's popped back up to let folks know that poor Watcher lad made it into the white 'n' shiny place. Good on him. Makes the loss a bit easier to bear, that does. Would've been a right pisser to learn he'd gone to hell, that's for bleedin' sure.

Guess I'm just here, waiting to see what's to be done. Always was up for a fight, I am, so I'd wager if there's still battles ahead... I'll be in the thick of it.

OOC Notice: A love for real, not fade away.

Greetings from Spike's handler! I can't actually recall ever having stepped out from the behind the curtain publically like this, not in a full post anyway. It's been one year, four months, and twenty days since I wrote my very first post as our resident snarky blond vampire. Three hundred thirty-four entries later, and I must say my life is forever changed by this experience. What first started as a silly thing to do on a lark after spotting thefirstevil developed into finding a Xander, a Willow... pretty much every character one could imagine. We began as a loose collective and we became a full-blown RPG. We also became friends along the way, lost both our core source material shows, grieved together as characters changed or died, and cheered and cursed Joss Whedon & Co. together. This has been truly a labor of love for me, and though I've played other characters in this game (most notably poor, pitiful Oliver Pike, and for nearly a year I was also handling She Who Slays the Vampires herself), Spike has always been... well, special to me. Through the magic of those who I feel write him best (Doug Petrie, Jane Espenson, David Greenwalt, Steve DeKnight, Drew Goddard, and -- of course -- Joss Whedon) and through the acting prowess of the amazing James Marsters, a character who was supposed to get killed off way back in Buffy's second season became a full-blown, fascinatingly round supporting player. Through death and change of venue, I've merely tagged along for the ride, trying to varying degrees of success to get inside his head, and to show the reading public what he was thinking or doing between episodes.

Now that the end of Angel has come to pass, the good folks at The Sunnydale Socks are still going to perservere, fighting the good fight, and keeping the spirit of the Mutant Enemy-verse alive. However, they will be doing so with a new Spike handler, who can be found at the LJ __spike__. I hope you'll follow to the new journal, for this fresh voice can only serve to do the character proud.

My desicion to resign was a tough one, but real life, work, and a desire to focus my attentions on my other writing endeavors have necessitated it. I increasingly had less and less free time, and Spike deserves to be be given more attention than I was able to provide as of late. I always knew I wouldn't be writing this journal forever, but it's still with bittersweetness that I leave the game. I'm departing with the joy of having made great friends with my fellow players, however, and that's something I'll be able to treasure forever. I must give particular props to _champion_ and xander__harris, for being such fun to snark with as Angel and Xander respectively; to _queen_c_ and _rogueslayer_, who had the rather difficult voices of Cordelia and Faith down to a T; to amy_de_ratted, for being brave enough to marry poor oliverpike; to cole_turner for the love that dare not speak its name; to evilhandissues for rising above the Lindsey of season 5 with aplomb; my triumverate of vampire comrades harmony_vamp, holden_vamp, and lady_drusilla, you guys rock; parker_abrams for far surpassing my expectations and being a huge creative inspiration; and finally to the new xbuffysummersx, who has already proved herself a worthy replacement for my darling Buffy. I adore ALL of you guys, you great big talented bunch, and I'm going to sincerely miss playing with the lot of you.

To my readers... I'm staggered, flattered, and honored. 200 people who aren't even in this game have friended this journal, and I'm shocked and blown away by the fierce loyalty you have for the character. You've supported him through his hardships, defended his honor vociferously, and generally been great fun to interact with. Thanks for being entertained and amused by this little endeavor. Again, I hope you'll show the same kindness to the new William the Bloody when he begins his tenure.

I'm going to leave this journal online, because I don't think I could bear to delete it. There are too many memories here, and this has all been way too much fun to send off into deletion oblivion. However, there will be no new posts here as of today, although if you have any comments or remarks, I will do my best to reply to as many as I can.

Thank you... fellow players and readers... thank you from the bottom of my heart.

"I want to see how it ends."

what the devil... ?

Mon, 24 May 2004 01:13:14 GMT

Events as of late make piss-all sense to me. Got sucked out of the battle right in the middle of it, we all did, and now there's some sort of sodding court case goin' on. Morrigan's doin' her damndest to explain it, but I'm just confused as hell. White room? Void contract? Piffle. I just want to suss out my place in all this and quickly. I'm tired. Been an unpleasant week, it has.

like the man said...

Thu, 20 May 2004 05:29:00 GMT

Once more unto the breach.

Bloody shame... s'pose you always lose a man in battle, but still...

Thu, 13 May 2004 02:02:08 GMT

I'm in.

things that are excessively stupid

Thu, 06 May 2004 03:32:21 GMT

1. Bloody Immortal bastard.

2. Angel.

3. Andrew.

4. The loss of my coat.

5. Goin' on a mission to retrieve a sodding head.

6. The lack of horsepower on a Vespa.

7. Italian nightclubs. Hell, sod all of Italy.

8. ~~Moving on.~~ Bugger, moving on's all I got left to me. Not stupid, that.

Here I am. Moving on.

...

Well, I will any minute now, swear it.

thinkin' about things more and more as of late

Tue, 04 May 2004 19:38:52 GMT

Pondering things I probably bloody well shouldn't, considering that I've told Angel more than once over the past few weeks how dedicated I am to the battle ahead. There's other things... unresolved things... Well, it's rather boils down to a desire to be assured that she's all right, y'know?

Sometimes, just when I think I'm free of 'er, she'll come to mind at the strangest moments...

ennui

Fri, 30 Apr 2004 13:16:29 GMT

Meant what I said to 'er... loved Fred beyond all measure. God, I hope the lad's plan worked, 'cause I don't feature her trying to off us all again.

Everything just seems a bit off as of late, y'know? Bugger. S'pose this means I'm off training detail, which I'm bloody well fine with. Yeah, it sure as hell gave me a spot of purpose there for a bit, but I was hardly enjoying getting pummelled each time. In fact, I'm a trifle sick of being mere muscle at present, and actually had far more fun helping out in the lab. Folks seem surprised I can actually operate a computer, which makes me feel rather a bit indignant.

So, yeah. Solutions for stopping the end of the world welcome as always, 'cause from what I've heard, peaches is acting a bit... off.

training report

Tue, 27 Apr 2004 17:01:57 GMT

Thu, 22 Apr 2004 12:30:25 GMT

Her PET?!

No. Bugger that. Did I mention no? As in there's absolutely no sodding way that's happening?

~~Although, a bloke's got to wonder what exactly she has in mind and whether it involves restraints of some sort...~~

bit of this and that

Wed, 21 Apr 2004 02:23:09 GMT

Playstation's not here yet. You'd think whoever it is what sold me this thing's bloody well fallen off the face of the earth. Though, I s'pose I ought to be paying closer attention to more important matters, like this impending apocalyptic whatsit. To review the past week...

- Bleedin' shame about old Charlie boy. More than a trifle conflicted about us leavin' him down there like that. Ought to go back for 'im, though it's not as though I fancy getting shot all to pieces again or what have you. ~~That Stepford wife was a pretty piece, I must say, machine gun notwithstanding.~~

- Slightly put out that the fourth floor receptionist found my new valise humourous. Remarked that it doesn't go with my general "look," and that I might do better to acquire a backpack instead. I told her to bugger off and consider not dousing herself in quite so much Love's Baby Soft. Stupid bint.

- Haven't seen Percy or the grand bitch in a while. God help me, but I hope he's not developing an unnatural fascination with her just because she's wearin' dear science girl's skin around.

- And may I just say how deeply scary this new chap is? Can we send him back to the Matrix or whatever ridiculous place he escaped from?

- On a final note, if I hear Harm prattle on about sodding pink fountains any further, I'm driving nails into my ears.

hang on...

Thu, 15 Apr 2004 02:36:43 GMT

So, if the apocalypse is goin' on now, and Evil Inc. has just been trying to keep Angel distracted-like, how come there seems to be nothing, you know, apocalyptic happening?

Seen and heard of my fair share of endtimes sorts of bollocks. Witches and vampires gone power mad. Dead people getting chatty. Great worms spewing forth from the earth. That sort of thing. 'Cause that's the manner of apocalypse I rather understand. The bloody classics, if you will, like deposed gods roaming about wishing they could get home and feeling all penned in by their mortal coil, and...

Oh. Right. We got one of those, don't we? Nevermind, then.

things to do in LA when you're depressed and bored

Tue, 13 Apr 2004 05:14:35 GMT

1. Bid accepted for PS2 from random bloke on E-Bay. Should be here any day now.
2. Acquired new cellular phone earlier. Gained via slightly, er, illicit means, I must admit (i.e. false name, false billing address, and what have you), but what was I to do? The rather godawful piece of plastic the ponce deigned to allow me to "borrow" kept running out of minutes.
3. My Best Buy special order came in (Red Dwarf DVD sets, series 1 through 3).
4. Debated briefly between tryin' out new nicotine replacement therapy lozenges versus just buyin' another carton of smokes. The smokes won out.
5. Debated, too, the merits of drinking copiously this evening, but on that point, I decided to lean toward the boring and cautious side of things, as I fear I'm starting to drink too much, even for me.
6. Attempted to do something even remotely productive, but quite honestly couldn't think of a sodding thing that fit the bill.

need a new gaming system

Thu, 08 Apr 2004 04:09:50 GMT

Bored as all bleeding get-out. Roamin' about on E-Bay, I spotted a PlayStation2 for sale (some git called "floppyfolds"... what the devil sort of screen name is that?). We'll see if my bid's accepted.

S'pose it's all in an effort to distract myself, really, but I that sodding XBox was obviously not cutting it. And's in little pieces now anyway.

...

Fri, 02 Apr 2004 12:44:10 GMT

hangoverhangoverhangoverhangoverhangoverhangoverhangoverhangoverhangoverhangoverhangoverhangoverhangover

Fri, 02 Apr 2004 04:32:04 GMT

It's a terribly strange feeling being groped by yourself.

~~While it's not entirely unpleasant~~, there is not enough vermouth in this world to...well, maybe there is. We'll find out.

Fri, 02 Apr 2004 00:02:33 GMT

Disturbed. That would be the word for it. And drunk. Did I mention drunk? I found a lovely cache of Christian Moueix in one of the better-appointed conference room mini bars, and even though it was a 2001 (hardly a highly stellar vintage) I made do.

The blood craving, however...I admit to caving in on that point. *cringe* What worried me more, however, was how much I enjoyed it. The accounting temp was more than happy to heat a mug of otter up for me (because, as she put it, "Spikey always likes this kind"), and it was like drinking warm honey laced with absinthe. Amazing. And, again, disturbing in its amazingness.

Hence the aforementioned intoxication.

...'Scuse me. I wasn't aware that vampires ever had to vomit, but apparently they do...

Thu, 01 Apr 2004 16:27:40 GMT

Things I've figured out:

1. I am, in fact, in William's body, and William appears to be in Angel's.
2. I cannot smear or conjure a FBoD.
3. I cannot see my reflection, for obvious reasons.
4. I am craving blood. I have heretofore managed to resist this urge, however, and may in fact soon intentionally intoxicate myself in the hopes that this craving will subside.
5. William's coat smells of sweat and stale Drakkar Noir.
6. When I passed the secretarial pool earlier, I realized that this smell is not a deterrent to women. In fact, one of the accounting temps started following me around the building.
7. Speaking of the building, I can't quite go anywhere until dark, as I might burst into flame.
8. I don't know if this problem is widespread or only limited to myself, William, and Angel, but Morrigan was acting oddly earlier.

I'm not sure who or what is to blame for this situation, but they will pay dearly, ~~if for no other reason than going commando in jeans that likely haven't been washed since the early days of the Clinton administration is really uncomfortable~~.

Thu, 01 Apr 2004 06:15:49 GMT

Well it seems everything with Slide worked out quite well for all those involved, although I do think I must have lost consciousness at some point after the confrontation. I woke up back at Wolfram & Hart. I suppose it's not entirely outside the realm of possibility that I came back to work, but this isn't my own office -- it looks like an abandoned back room near the science wing. Curious. There's a half-eaten plate of what appears to be buffalo wings on the floor, and a few empty beer bottles.

Did I decide at some point to "celebrate" something? One would suspect so. I wonder if Phoebe...no, that wouldn't exactly win me any points, calling up to say I think I passed out in a drunken stupor at work. I should just smear to --

What's wrong with me? I can't seem to do that! I should just try again, right?

Oh, no, what's happening?

bugger that

Wed, 31 Mar 2004 14:12:19 GMT

Supposedly, nobody's jumping for joy that the Xbox is coming down in price a trifle. Well, I'm all manner of pleased. I can finally afford to replace the one I rather smashed to bits without asking the ponce to spot me some cash.

Y'know, come to think of it, I really ought to ask him about back wages or some such. For all intents and purposes, I'm essentially on the bloody roster of employees now, aren't I? 'Course, he might still be a trifle put out about the laptop incident, though I did have maintenance fix his office window...

regrets... I've had a few

Thu, 25 Mar 2004 03:49:02 GMT

Well, I'll say this. Last night certainly pulled me out of my doldrums for a bit. Didn't even drink all that terribly much, really, 'least not as much as usual (which I s'pose can be rather a lot, I must admit), yet despite lack of total inebriation, I did get up to some things I mightn't ordinarily.

Not that I'm complaining, mind. Just... er, it's... how to put this exactly. It's like I actually feel a trifle guilty about the whole thing. I don't fancy anyone having their illusions shattered or their hopes gotten up or what have you. 'Course, time was, I wouldn't feel a lick of guilt about this sort of thing, but I'd wager that's the price of having a soul and such.

Although it was nice, really, it was. Don't think I'm only brooding on about it. I'm entitled to a bit of fun from time to time.

bugger

Tue, 23 Mar 2004 15:57:21 GMT

Just... oh, sod it. I can't pretend I'm not all manner of depressed anymore. It's all gotten to me and seems a bit too much to handle. If anyone actually needs me for the purposes of beating someone up, killing something, or engaging in a battle of some kind, ring me up at my flat.

semi-annual "annoy the poofter" campaign proves to be a bust

Fri, 19 Mar 2004 03:30:12 GMT

Tossed someone's laptop out window in his absence. Realised too late that necrotempered glass shattering is a bad thing. Burnt hand. Got drunk. Slept.

Bad day.

plans

Tue, 16 Mar 2004 16:42:03 GMT

Angel is leaving for some bloody business trip tomorrow, so I'm endeavouring to take it upon myself to use his time away for some activities I haven't had the opportunity to engage in for a while. With everything going on as of late, been right depressed and not feeling quite like my old self. Think if I remedy that for a spell, might do me a world of good, get myself steeled up for the horrible nasty stuff we've all got to face here all too soon and whatall.

Now, er, not to worry, Liam. By "plans," of course, I mean... research. Right. Yeah. Got a lead on... things. To, eh, fend off Illyria. Yes, that's it. Not to fret at all.

*grin*

been awhile...

Tue, 09 Mar 2004 13:11:14 GMT

Haven't done this sort of thing in a few weeks, but I went out and took the piss out of a few roaming vampires last night. Weren't even threatening anybody, which might make my actions seem a trifle on the mercenary side, but I don't really care at present. Whole bloody world's seemed off and wrong ever since Fred got taken over by her "wacky identical cousin."

In fact, everybody's been all manner of quiet and such. The prancing hairstyle hasn't so much as endeavoured to insult me in days. Weird, that. Almost disconcerting.

Right after this Illyria bint showed up, I was able to rather shove down any active grief I was feeling, but I'd wager it's starting to come to the forefront now. It's hitting home a bit more that maybe, just maybe, there's no way to get Fred back. Beginning to suspect that death, in this case, may be bloody well permanent. I'd go bother Watcher boy to hit the books a bit harder, but, really, I don't feature him shooting me. Lad seems to do that sort of thing a lot lately: shoot anyone who so much as steps foot into his office. Now, it may very well have been just the one time, and yeah, that sort of thing wouldn't kill me, but it sure as hell would hurt like a son of a bitch, and I generally like to keep myself free of bullet holes as often as possible.

Wonder if there's not a spot of research I could get up to myself. 'Tis rather a pity that the bloke what managed to make me all solid-like with a mere flash of light in a box isn't around. Could torture some intel out of him, see if there's not a way to make our own version of that magic whatsit and pull Fred's soul back into her body. I'm not buying the "consumed by flames" bollocks. You see, I'm not as profound an idiot as Angel would have folks believe. I'm well aware of the scientific principle that matter can be neither created nor destroyed, and based on what little I know about the nature of a soul, if it can be contained in a jar, an astral plane, or a body, a soul must have matter. So, even if the little one's soul did get displaced or what have you, I suspect there's still a way to get hold of it.

Not that it would be a way we could actually do, mind you, which is why I'm becoming a bit more fatalistic about the whole buggering thing, but... well, perhaps someday...

Oh, bollocks. Hell if I know what to do here 'cept twiddle my thumbs and wait for someone else to present a solution...

this isn't selling out

Thu, 04 Mar 2004 06:15:32 GMT

I'm sticking 'round 'cause I swear there's got to be a way out of this, save the world from the likes of this Illyria bint, and Fred...

... she would've wanted me to stay.

It's going to be bad, children. Best be prepared.